Important Sites for Veterans

The Veterans of Modern Warfare is a site I stumbled upon while viewing the previous article I mentioned. This site contains a lot of helpful information and contains links to local chapters. Unfortunately there are not as many of them as there are VFW and DAV's. My husband is a member of the VFW and DAV, and I've just requested information on the fees for this group. I'll let you know if anything pans out.

Also, through that site, I found the International Conference of War Veteran Ministers. It seems like a wonderful site that has tremendous efforts on PTSD. Including offering workshops sponsored by scholarships in your area if you can come up with a certain amount of Veterans, both single and married. These workshops are fully paid (meals and lodging) and are Christian based. I remember the Chaplain retreats that we used to go on when we were in the military. I used to love those retreats. It gave you and your husband a chance to actually communicate without realizing that's what you were doing.


Okay...I'm going into a story now. One of these particular retreats that my husband and I went on, was in Chiemsee Germany. We were stationed in Ansbach Germany. During one of the breaks we decided to take a foot paddle boat out on the lake. You know, the ones that you paddle like a bicycle. We were told that if it was going to rain that we would see the light on the lodge come on. We had almost gotten out to the middle of this enormous lake and we seen that time was running out, so we turned around. As we begin peddling back we see the rain coming over the mountain. Mind you that darn light wasn't on. So we begin to peddle a little faster, but the rain keeps coming and it's heavy. It was one of those rains that looks like a wall coming at you.

We peddled and peddled. A boat come by us and the people on the boat just waved (how rude). Found out later it would have cost us for them to rescue us anyhow. I would have paid the fee. Suddenly it began to lightening. I was frightened. We made it back to shore safely though, soak and wet with a story to tell our children one day. The retreat was so worth it, because that is something that him or I would have never done on our own. We still to this day laugh about that. It also helps me to remember that he done it only because I asked him to, which reminds me at the times when I need it most That he does love me.

NEWs and Links of interest

I found this on the Military.com news letter that I receive. This information was a welcome sight, because my husband went for over a year and half with no benefits and no job. The VA finally recognized his disabilities when I had to have him Baker Acted because of his PTSD.

Vets Groups Sue VA Over Claims Delays
Week of November 17, 2008
Two veterans groups, the Vietnam Veterans of America and the Veterans of Modern Warfare, are suing the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA) over what they call "unacceptable delays" in veteran's claims. The lawsuit demands that the VA provide an initial decision on every veteran's claim for disability benefits within 90 days and resolve appeals within 180 days, and seeks relief to provide a lifeline of interim benefits if the VA delays last beyond the limit. For more information, visit the Veterans of Modern Warfare website and the Vietnam Veterans of America website.
http://www.military.com/veterans-report/vets-groups-sue-va-over-claims-delays?ESRC=vr.nl

Dealing with an Anger Point

Here's a few tips that I've found that help me deal with the anger issue:

1. Don't say anything you'll regret.
He/She will, but that doesn't give you the excuse to do it.
2. Walk away for a while.
I never believed in walking away from a fight. Distance and time helps here ALOT.
3. Wait until the anger has subsided and talk to them in a different fashion.
Never come at a situation as an attack "You did this or You did that" is never the way to go about it.
4. Look for the good in them.
Remember why you were with them in the first place. I have a favorite memory of our wedding day that I tuck away for days like this.



Also, there's another issue that my husband has exhibited, even longer than the PTSD symptoms. Fibromyalgia.

While some doctors still don't acknowledge that it exists, I will assure you it does. Fibromyalgia is often more prevelant in women then men, but I think it's because men are not as willing as women to say when they hurt and there doesn't seem to be a cause for it. I think that the two go hand and hand.

Some signs and symptoms:

Pain issues: The pain is muscle and joint problems. Weak ankles, soreness in the wrists and arms. General aches and pains all over with no explanation as to why.

Focus issues: People who used to keep things clear and clutter free, maybe someone is used to always putting tools away and suddenly they're letting their tools lie out in the rain.

Sleeping problems: This is in combination with the PTSD because with PTSD they have issues with nightmares and light sleeping so that they can listen for the enemy.

Tired: They are often tired throughout the day and when the pain is worse, they sleep more.

Mood Swings: They can go from angry to perfectly fine. As if nothing ever happened.

PTSD as told by a Soldiers Wife

There is life after PTSD. Those of you married to soldiers who have come back from war have a chance at a normal life. I'm living proof.

• Does he seem more distant then before?
• Does work or a hobby take more precidence then home life?
• Does he not seem as interested in the things that you used to do together?
• Has his temper gotten worse? Is it easier to trigger?
• Would he rather work alone then be around a large group?
• Does noise suddenly bother him?
• Does he forget things easily?
  
  My husband prior to the PTSD was almost obsessive compulsive about his tools and such, now you'll find them laying on the ground outside for the weather to get to them. When asked: Why don't you put these up? His response is: I'm trying to clean it up, I just need time. He's retired and doesn't work. He has the time, he just can't remember what he was doing or where he was at. He gets distracted easily. Some projects seem to take precidence, but they are normally tedious and don't require a lot of moving from area to area. Right now he's building an airboat. Something I didn't even know he was interested in until now.
  
  He never was too much of a crowd person, but he did enjoy an occasional party. Now, we take seperate vehicles because within a short period of time, he's had enough and wants to go home. The noise and the people seem to overtake him and his nerves get the best of him.
  
  Divorce is much easier then coping with the PTSD. It's a daily fight, one that can get easier over time with the right medication and a little understanding.
  
  This is not an easy situation to deal with and it's impossible to go it alone.